Mayday

Offices are strange places indeed.

I’ve just come from an Office Safety Toolbox Talk.

I know less now it’s over than I did when it started.

I always thought you did things like:

  • Call 999
  • Give The Kiss Of Life
  • Do The Heimlich Manoeuveur
  • Improvise a Tourniquet

Who knew it had all changed? I had no idea we were not allowed to call it the Heimlich as it sounds too Jewish for Muslims or something. Anyway, it’s a no-no.

Tourniquets and kissing are out. Old hat.

The simple 999 telephone number is too simple for today’s world. We now have 101 for non emergency police and 112 for emergencies throughout Europe (except that it doesn’t work on a mobile phone without a SIM). And there’s something about 111 for the NHS. Maybe.

I’m sticking with 999. Stuff ’em.

There were loads of other weird stuff. I honestly have no idea anymore. Which is probably the Big Idea – we all do nothing – leave people to die or else do an expensive First Aider course.

Nice knowing ya.

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