No Fee

In contrasting the people who do something wrong against those who take full advantage of that to rant with pictures and videos on the internet, I was reminded of the story of Fee.

Fee worked in a bank. I think her real given name was Fiona, but I’m not sure. She was late teens or early twenties, strawberry blonde, and while generally slim, she facially retained her youthful  chubbiness. A pal, though, thought her ‘puffy’. She was neither a great beauty nor terribly ugly, her only remarkable feature was her slightly large nose, and that’s being picky.

Anyway, I had a flat. I was young and one of the first to move out of the parental nest, so my place was always full of friends. I was introduced to Fee one evening, and we wete all just lounging about watching telly, drinking beer, and snacking. We were going out later, so this was just killing time.

Fee asked if I had a bathroom. I nodded toward the hallway. She rose and followed my nod.

Half an hour later, she had not returned. I became curious and decided to check it out.

The bathroom door was locked shut.

I chapped the door softly,

“You alright?” I enquired.

“Yeah, fine; I’ll be out in a sec.” She said.

I went back to the couch.

Five minutes later Fee entered the room in my bathrobe. She’d had a bath! She inserted herself on the couch, her hair in my towel.

I was amazed. And speechless.

This was a weird girl indeed. She was running to different rules from the rest of us. I visited the loo, and there on the floor was Fee’s bra, knickers, socks, jeans and top. An odd person, I thought.

This was confirmed later on, when watching a plastic looking celebrity on the telly, and someone raised the question of cosmetic surgery. Fee immediately stated that she was definitely going ahead with her own operation.

This was news to everyone, and the discussion got going. Some were all for it, some were dead against it. Everyone, I can assure you, thought she was getting a nose job, when she suddenly announced,

“But I have hated my ears since kindergarten”.

Fee’s reality was like a breath of fresh air to me – and ever since, I have made the point never to assume that we are all equal or think in the same way.


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