My son (he’s 8) tells a joke:
“Mum, how can you tell your teacher’s age?”
“I don’t know; how do you tell your teacher’s age?”
“Pull her knickers off”
“Cos in my knickers it says ‘ aged six to eight'”
I laughed like a drain when I heard the boy tell this joke, and saw his mothers face – and was reminded of the time I told my mother a borderline joke back in the day.
“Mum, do you want to hear a joke?” I began.
“Ok” said my mum distractedly stirring the saucepan on the stove.
“A boy asked him mum for a bike at Christmas.” I smiled.
“‘Mum, can I have a bike for Christmas?’ I said in a silly voice.
“‘ Not on yer life’ she replied” I said in another silly voice. I continued, noticing I had my mum’s attention.
“So time went by, and each time the boy asked for a bike, the mother would say no.
“One day the boy asked his mother if she would play a game with him.
“‘Let’s play Mums and Dads’ suggested the boy.
“‘What do I have to do’ asked the boy’s mum
“‘Oh you just have to go upstairs and get into your lingerie and lie on the bed; I’ll be up in a minute, just let me know when your ready…”
(At this point in the telling, my mother’s eyes were on stalks. She was clearly surprised, and possibly quite alarmed. I carried on in haste.)
“Soon the boy heard his mother shout downstairs that she was ready.
“The mother was lying on the bed in her stockings, knickers and bra when the boy walked in wearing his dad’s jacket, and sucking on his dad’s pipe.
“The boy then looked at her, sat down on the end of the bed, and said ‘You know, my love, I think it’s high time we bought our son that bike he’s always going on about!’”
At this point my mother actually burst out laughing. I think she was amazed, astounded, and very, very, surprised.
Talk about flying close to the sun!